Well, hasn't it been a while!
I must have started and re-started this post a thousand times, each time never quite finding the right words to explain why it's almost been A YEAR since I last wrote anything on here. Excuse me whilst I go bury my head in my hands.
I could beat around the bush and say I ran out of inspiration or I simply didn't have enough time with my new job and my new lifestyle blah blah blah - but the real reason for my lack of posting is, I let life get in the way... and I let other people talk me out of it.
Lots of things changed around the time of my last blog post: we packed up and moved from our little cottage near Launceston to a big Georgian house in Boscastle, my parents started up their very own B&B and I began dating again (disastrous).
We went from a cosy and secluded life, where mornings involved feeding the chickens and sitting on the front doorstep with a cuppa, to a pretty manic existence where our house was a thoroughfare of activity! Don't get me wrong, I love living amongst all the comings and goings of a busy B&B now - but, at the time, it was truly a bit of a culture shock.
Cue about a month of quite severe depression. I would bloody love to say I'm a strong lass that doesn't take rejection too seriously but this one got to me and I was not in a great place for a while.
What made it worse was that this was a guy that had had a habit of going through my Instagram and reading through my captions in a silly voice - something that had, over time, convinced me that my blog was indeed silly, stupid, self-gratifying and not worth continuing with. Hence my radio silence for a good few months.
But then, as things have a strange habit of doing after something craptacular occurs, something unexpected happened that made me think I perhaps wasn't so rubbish after all. I was chuffed to bits to be offered the chance to become an ambassador for the gorgeous stationery company, Papier (I think you can still get 20% off with my code: ZYPSVOLUGY at the checkout, give it a whirl!) I got my teeth into creating some of the following content for them and I think they're still some of my all-time favourite Instagram snaps...
After this little injection of hope and creativity, all the positivity started coming my way in waves. Lovely friends huddled around, sent me flowers, invited me on weekends away or came to stay... I got a pay rise at work and could finally afford a non-deathtrap of a car (!)... I met someone new and started thinking perhaps I wasn't such a terrible human after all...
And since then, I've been working on building myself back up to someone I want to be... for me. I'm focusing on projects and friendships and work and relationships that make me happy. And it's so blooming liberating!
I now have so many ideas for what I want to do with this blog, so watch this space! I've got my creative hat back on and I'm going to be as silly and self-gratifying with my posts as possible...haha!
In the meantime,
All my love as always,
Siân x
Welcome back! I’m so happy that you decided to write and publish this little update. Your honesty about dealing with depression and self doubt is refreshing and I have so much respect for the growth you’ve had this year. We all deal with self doubt as bloggers (and human beings). I’m trying to make a point to reach out to my favourite creatives more to let them know that I love their content because everyone needs recognition.
ReplyDeleteSo here it is: I’ve been following you for a couple years now and every time you post a photo or a blog post it makes me smile! Your blog is actually bookmarked on my laptop and I turn to it whenever I need some cozy time. You always seem genuine and I feel like you’re writing to your friends and not just an audience. So remember this when people try to silence you: the things you create have an impact on other people and bring joy and light into the world. Never forget that!
Xo, Row
I am so glad you've bravely reclaimed your power once more after such an unfair and tough time. I always, and will always, love everything you share. You've created something so beautiful . . . I hope no one ever tries to dull your shine again, because Freckled Field Notes and you are wonderful. Xx best wishes x
ReplyDeleteMilly x
It's so lovely to see you back on the blog again, I've always enjoyed reading your blog! I'm sorry to hear that you went through a tough time with depression, I too have been through troubles with anxiety and depression. But it's nice to hear that you're feeling so much better now, building yourself up to be someone who you want to be! I look forward to reading more of your posts :) x
ReplyDeleteKayleigh x
This is such an empowering post, I am so happy that you have started off a fresh and are feeling excited for all of the amazing things to come your way. By chance I came across this blog this morning and I have to say, I love it! It's so beautifully laid out and the photographs are incredible. Trust me, your words are inspiring and so eloquently written, don't ever doubt your own talent and abilities! Like the saying goes... "you do you" :)
ReplyDeleteLove, Kate x
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